Claire's Eleventh Friend: So a nun walks into a bar on St. Patrick's Day.

This weekend I went to a Nunchelorette Party, maybe the first ever in the history of the world. One of my dearest, sweetest friends is becoming a nun! A cloistered nun at that (for those of you who don't know, cloistered means she will never be leaving the convent! She'll be praying for our asses!)! A little sad because we are realizing we only have a limited time to hang out with her and communicate with her on a regular basis, my friends and I knew that this is what she was called to do. Soooo, what else do you do when somebody figures out what they want to do with the rest of their lives? Throw a party. And we did just that.

1 Nunchelorette + 4 single ladies + New Orleans + St. Patrick's Day = Best Party Ever (and at least 10-20 new friends)

On St. Patrick's Day (which is my favorite day of the year....if Gonzaga would just stop losing on that day, it would be even better!) we went to the parade in the Irish Channel (side note: their motto is amazing, America First, Irish Channel Always). Everybody knows at parades in New Orleans you get beads...I never really understood why everybody wants those cheap ass beads until I experienced it. It was a full on competition between you and the other 3000 people on that street to have the most beads hanging off your sweaty neck. I don't know what came over me, but I was ready to throw my elbows in the old lady's face next to me to get those damn beads that were going to stain my skin because I wore too many for too long! But, they are not just throwing out beads, they are throwing out heads of cabbage (pay attention, because that shit hurts when it hits you in the face!), potatoes, jello shots, moon pies, ramen noodles, garter belts, pool noodles and flowers. At the beginning of the parade, a massive amount of men in tuxedos walk by giving out kisses and flowers to all the ladies on the route. Weird, but I loved it!

After the parade, we wander over to the best block party ever. It was huge and free and there were live bands and men everywhere! While we are trying to understand where we are and how to get drinks in our hands, my new friend Mike Sullivan corners me in the bar. He is in a tux and was one of the guys from the start of the parade! Just as he starts in on his life story, the nunchelorette joins us. He asked me if I was from Uptown, which made me excited because 1. my faux southern accent must be really sounding great these days! 2. I am blending in with the locals! and 3. Uptown sounds like a fancy place....and I am not that fancy.  He forces us to take some sips of his drink he brought from home in his janky water bottle and then lets me in on the little secret about SPD in NOLA, byob. He puts his mixed drinks in janky water bottles and then packs beer and ice in his backpack.....water was literally dripping out of his not so water proof backpack. I decided I was pretty happy with our choice to not wear ice chest back packs. I asked Mike why he was marching in the parade and he answered, "My last name is Sullivan and I paid $130!" Mike's life story and antics kept us entertained for probably close to an hour. Mike was really really in love with our nunchelorette.....he admitted his love for her promptly after he told us how much he loved his fiance, Melissa! Our friend, Hayley, whom he appropriately named Tall Drink of Water, told him he can't love our nunchelorette because she is marrying Jesus, and without missing a beat, Mike said he was changing his name to Jesus and moving to Phoenix for her.

Mike gives us the beads he said every girl at the parade wanted and told us how lucky we were to have them for about 15 minutes and then we went our separate ways. I hope he made it home okay. Thanks for showing us some real Southern Hospitality Mike!

Mike sitting on Tall Drink of Water.

Me cracking up from everything Mike is saying. Janky water bottle front and center.